God Most Faithful

 

It has been a long time since I've sat down to update this blog, clearly! I'm still writing in real life and writing in my head, just not typing it out here. In June, I was able to share a message about God Most Faithful. This was with Known Communities. Communities was started in 2024 as a way for women to meet all year long. I've been hosting a community group and it has been SUCH a blessing to me, and I pray the other women meeting have been blessed, too. The speakers for each month have been using a chapter from the book In His Image. Each chapter is a character of God. 

While I cannot share the video of the message, I would love to share the words to the message. I ALSO have not seen the video. I don't like seeing myself/listening to myself on recording. :) 

Here is my message of God Most Faithful: 

What a trip it has been since taking on the task of God Most Faithful. You know how when you pray for patience and the Lord is like “GAME ON!” Then you proceed to have a million and one different ways you can practice that patience or lack there of? That’s pretty much what has happened to me since knowing I was going to be talking about God Most Faithful. Situation after situation, I was like “yep! Still faithful, Lord! Thank you!”

Honestly, I didn’t even need for God to provide me with more situations. It isn’t really too difficult for me to start listing off the ways God has shown me His beautiful faithfulness since beginning my faith journey so many years ago. 

BUT, because God IS faithful, he couldn’t stop providing me with situations of that faithfulness. God is unchanging, he remains forever faithful to us. I love the words Jen used “He is faithful to his children because he cannot be unfaithful to himself. He is incapable of infidelity on any level.” That is a really solid testament to the God who loves us so very much. 

Think of the dearest person in your life. They’re pretty great, aren't they? But (and there is always a but) they’re not perfect. Since they’re not perfect, they’re also not going to be always faithful. Even if you cannot imagine them ever betraying your trust, they will. The only one possible of being 100 percent faithful, the only one possible to be fully faithful all of the time, is God. 

We can go back as far as Genesis and see God’s faithfulness to his word. He promised in Genesis 8:21 “I will never again curse the ground because of man, even though man’s inclination is evil from his youth.”

God KNOWS that man’s inclination is evil. He KNOWS we aren’t going to be faithful to him always, yet, promises to never again curse the ground because of us. 

A few books to the right in the Bible and we hit Deuteronomy 7:9-10. Wilkin says before sharing this verse in her book “The faithfulness of God is both a comfort to his children and a terror to those who oppose him.”

Know that Yahweh your God is God, the faithful God who keeps His gracious covenant loyalty for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commands. But He directly pays back and destroys those who hate Him. He will not hesitate to directly pay back the one who hates Him. 

God is as faithful to carry out justice on those who oppose him as he is faithful to carry on with his steadfast love for those that choose him.

Choosing him in hard times can be so hard, right? For me, when hard times come, I do my best to remind myself of God’s faithfulness before. If he literally cannot NOT be faithful, then I CAN trust that he will be in this time. He will be faithful to protect me through the current storm. 

Psalm 91:4 shares the promise well, He will cover you with His feathers;

you will take refuge under His wings. His faithfulness will be a protective shield.  

Reminding myself of the past faithfulness and his promises to protect me don’t make the current hard situation all of a sudden better and not hard.
Reminding myself of this doesn’t mean my whole life changes and my attitude is all of a sudden better, but my heart posture changes gradually. I remind myself that I CAN absolutely ask WHY!? GOD!?! About the situation, but can also have the HOPE that HE WILL BE FAITHFUL to see me through it. No matter what comes my way, He will be there to see me through it. These reminders don’t make hard situations happen less. BUT I can remind myself every single time they do happen, because they will. 

We can rest on Jesus’ words found in John 16:33:

I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.

Like the lyrics in Cody Carnes’ song “I’ll take You at Your Word” say:

I'll take You at Your word

If You said it, I'll believe it

I've seen how good it works

Because He is faithful we can take Him at his word. He says it and we can believe it to be 100% true. 

If I have to pick where I struggle in believing God about His faithfulness, it’s with God providing what we need. Even though I know and believe it to be true that God is Jehovah-Jireh—meaning the Lord will provide, I find myself doubting it. I wish I could say once in a great while. I wish I could say once a year, even. 

I promise you, if you see me with cold sores on my lips, it is going to be nine times out of ten because I’m stressed or worried about money. 

 And, yet, even though I struggle with believing what God says about providing…God remains FAITHFUL to me, despite my unbelief in what He’s said, God remains faithful. 

The name of God, Jehovah-Jireh comes from one of my favorite stories in the Bible found in Genesis 22. God asked Abraham to take the son he was promised and waited so long for, to a mountain. And on that mountain, that son, Isaac is to be offered up as a sacrifice. 

Abraham does as he’s told. As Isaac and Abraham head to where the sacrifice will take place, the son asks his father—“where is the lamb?!” He had to have heard his dad tell his men waiting at the bottom of the mountain that THEY would be back.

Imagine Isaac’s thoughts. Do you think he was scared? Do you think he knew any of what God had asked Abraham to do? If nothing else, he had to have been confused, which perhaps prompted the question. 

Abraham answers simply “God Himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.”

This proves that Abraham was faithful to God just as God has previously been faithful to him. Being faithful to God involves trusting God.

What do you think Abraham was thinking as they got to the spot God had told him about? What do you think he was thinking as he built the altar. Arranged the wood. As he literally bound his son Isaac and placed him on the altar? What was he thinking as he reached out and took the knife to slaughter his long awaited son? 

Was his heart pounding? His brow sweating? Hands trembling as he held the knife above his son preparing to kill him? The son he waited for, for so very long. 

Then, was it relief when the Angel of the Lord called to him “Abraham, Abraham!”?

Was it more relief when that same Angel of the Lord said “Do not lay a hand on the boy or do anything to him. For now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your only son from Me.”? 

Isaac? What about Isaac. We focus on Abraham’s feelings, but imagine Issac. He is on the altar watching his father hold a knife above him, knowing exactly what is coming next. What was HIS level of relief when he sees Abraham look up and see the ram caught in the thicket.

A ram caught in the thicket by its horns. Abraham went and took the ram without blemish and offered it as a burnt offering in place of his son. A ram that had to have been there the entire time, right? But Abraham’s eyes were not opened to seeing the ram until the exact time they needed to be. 

Abraham was faithful to God, knowing that he could trust God to provide the offering. He knew it from the moment he headed up with Isaac. He told his men they’d be back.

He knew it as he prepared the altar. As he bound his son and held the knife. He knew the Lord would provide, and he called that place Jehovah-Jireh: The Lord will Provide. 

I can imagine the men waiting had to have stood with gaping mouths as Abraham and Isaac both came back down the mountain. They had to have known what was supposed to be going down up there. Did the mock Abraham after he left with Isaac telling them they’d both be back? Did they even catch that he said it? The Bible only tells us in Genesis 22:19 that Abraham went back to his young men, and they got up and went together to Beersheba, so finding out any of the little details will have to wait until Heaven. 

One more really amazing thing about the place where Abraham walked with Isaac up the mountain to sacrifice his only son? It is believed to be the same, or very close to the same, place that Jesus was sacrificed for us. We can look at the account of Abraham and Isaac as a beautiful foreshadowing of the sacrifice God was going to make offering HIS only son as a sacrifice to save us. God is a God of details. 

God and His details are always faithful to us. When I begin to write a message, it always starts out in my head. I write and re-write it plenty of times before it comes out of my fingers on the keyboard of my laptop. The message of God’s faithfulness when written in my head, though, is not at all what has come out of my fingers and now my mouth as you’re listening.

When I sat down to write, He completely changed my message and I said “okay, God.” Because I live a bit of a busy life, I never sit down at one time to write a message. This time was no different, so I wasn’t thinking anything of it. 

Until a Friday at the beginning of May happened. Then I knew why I hadn’t finished this message, because He was giving me a really big story of faithfulness to share with you all. You see, the message in my head was written with lots of examples, big ones and small ones, of God’s faithfulness that I’ve seen. I mean they even had a cute name “Winks of Faithfulness”. God changed my cutesy little message, though. God changed my message so I could truly live what I said I believed. 

The Friday at the beginning of May is only 5 days ago as I sit and write this. Tears are already starting to form, and my heart is pounding as my shaky fingers attempt to type this out. God is faithful to me, because I know that writing this out and sharing this as part of my message is another way to heal from this experience. 

On with it, right? This feels like some sort of season finale cliff hanger, doesn’t it? 

If you’ve heard me speak before, I’ve shared how my son and husband were both diagnosed with Epilepsy in 2022. My son has had his seizures under control with meds for a few years. 

Up until November of 2024, so had my husbands. So, when he woke me up at 3 in the morning telling me he had a seizure while going to the bathroom..It was a shock to both of us. It was amazing, though, how he told me this and promptly fell asleep. I, on the other hand, was up for quite awhile. 

We saw his neurologist in December to discuss the seizure. During the appointment she talked about meds with us. By the end of the appointment we made the decision to change his meds. This process is actually quite long, it took about 16 weeks to titrate up on the new medication and then another month to wean off of his old medication. 

The night after he took his last old medication, he told me he was feeling weird. This conversation has happened plenty of times throughout the last three years. He will always tell me if he feels off in case something were to happen. Nothing ever has come of his “weird” feeling. I didn’t think too much of it when he told me, either. 

The next morning was that Friday early in May. 

He called me at 7:33 that morning. He had already called me at 6:30 to tell me something, so I wasn’t too concerned that he was calling me again. He called to tell me he was feeling weird and was twitchy. The twitches are actually called myoclonic seizures. Which means, he was having seizures. 

Our friend “just so happens” to be his neurologist’s nurse. He decided to give her a call to see if she had any recommendations for him. 

He called me at 7:44 to let me know I needed to bring him a half a pill of his old medication and a bottle of water. 

He called me at 7:47 to tell me that he would need a bottle of water, too. 

It was after that call I began to feel concern. Seizures have always messed with his memory for a few days to weeks after the seizures. The fact that he had no recollection that he’d already asked me for the bottle of water scared me. 

I got to his work by 8:15. He walked up to the van as I rolled the window down. I handed him his bottle of water and half a pill. He took it and then tried talking to me. He had his “trying not to cry smile” on his face has he talked and stared me in the eyes. 

I cannot even tell you what he said or if I even said words. Because the next thing that happened was a seizure. It was a small seizure that lasted only a few seconds. He cried as he stood there by the van and I asked him if he just wanted to come home. He shrugged and I said “get in the van”. 

My dad works with Shaun, I got out and walked over by my dad to tell him that Shaun was coming home because he had another seizure. 

We chatted all the way home, basically trying to figure out if the seizures were happening because of being weaned off the old medication. It was the only thing that made sense and we assumed it was that.

I pulled into the driveway and not long after out of the corner of my eye I saw Shaun looking back and it looked like he was waving. I turned fully to basically ask him “why the heck are you waving?”

I looked and it took me milliseconds to realize he wasn’t turning and waving at all. He was having a seizure. I don’t even remember throwing the van into park in the middle of our driveway.

I immediately started crying, which surprised me, honestly. I take anti-anxiety and depression meds and sometimes I feel like I cannot cry at all. The instant tears shocked me and for a brief moment made me feel normal. 

I remember through the crying, sobbing and bawling saying his name over and over again. I had the wherewithal to look at the time, in a seizure it is extremely important to time it. If a seizure lasts more than 5 minutes, you need to call 911. 

For 3 very long minutes, the longest minutes of my life thus far, I held my husband up in the passenger seat. Because the armrest was up my concern was that he would fall between our front two seats. I held up as I continued to cry, say his name and watch the clock. I held him as I prayed and begged the seizure to stop. I held am as I was the most scared I have ever been in my life. 

After the seizure stopped he was so still. He sat with his eyes closed and motionless. I will not sugar coat this, I questioned if he was still alive. I wondered if this was the seizure that took his life. I could not tell immediately and I am pretty sure I screamed “Shauney” as I gently shook his shoulders. Thankfully, I could tell that while he wasn’t conscious, he was alive. 

For another few minutes, I stared at him and was so happy to see his baby blue eyes open and stare at me.

He had no idea what was going on, or what had just happened. He couldn’t talk, only stared at me and I just repeated his name and asked him to say something. 

When he could say something, his words were slurred, and he asked me “why are you crying?” I’m still in disbelief that he was the one who just had a seizure and he was worried about ME. He eventually started asking what happened. Why were we parked in the middle of the driveway. What was going on. Very incoherent the entire time. 

Eventually, our 16 year old son—the one with epilepsy, came out to see what was going on with us in the middle of the driveway. 

He walked up to the window and stared with his big baby blue eyes asking “what happened” I told him that dad had a seizure and Shaun slurred out to him “this is why you should wear your (medical ID) bracelet.” Again, Shaun being concerned for others, when HE was the one who needed the help. 

He was concerned about getting our friend, the nurse, on the phone. He could barely form sentences, but was very clear on this fact. We got her on the phone and explained what had just happened. Her compassion and love for my husband on that phone call was just what I needed in the moment. (I honestly am only realizing this as I type this out—and I can promise you, I’ll be messaging her after I am done with this to tell her that) 

Dustin and I got Shaun in the house and shortly after the nurse called back with the plan from the neurologist. We were going to be upping his new medication by a little bit and also starting another medication to bridge the gap while we titrate up on that. The belief of the neurologist was the same as ours, he likely had the seizure from being off of the old medication. 

As I waited at the pharmacy for the medication, a sweet pharmacy tech came up to me and explained insurance was denying the prescription for his new medication that was being upped. They said we couldn’t get it for another 9 days. I stared at her. I’m not sure what I said, but I am sure she saw the emotions on my face. She apologized and said she tried to do all of the overrides she could, but it wasn’t working. I stared some more, said I had no idea what he had at home of the medication. She then asked me if I wanted to know what the cash price would be. I nodded as tears threatened to fall. 

Tears fell as she walked away. (Remember how I said I stress about money?!) I started asking myself how much was “too much”, was there a “too much”, how could you be questioning of course there wasn’t a too much, this is your husband you’re talking about. 

When she walked over and told me $10.50, I was in shock and said “YES!”

It’s been a long few days since last Friday, but one thing I know…God is faithful. You see, that Friday was NOT one of our normal Fridays. I wasn’t doing my “normal” Friday things. I was at home when he called. I was free the entire day. It makes sense to me, now, why God called me to quit my job at the gym…that I only worked Fridays. That Friday was only the second Friday I had free since quitting at the gym. God knew this all ahead of time, even when things didn’t make sense back at the beginning of April when he was telling me to quit. 

God was faithful to allow us to be at home in the driveway when the seizure happened. God was faithful to not have any of Shaun’s “guys” at work witness another seizure, like they had with his first one. God was faithful and my dad didn’t have to call me to tell me, again, that something had happened to Shaun. 

God was faithful to make me a procrastinator and write messages in chunks, so I could include this story of faithfulness with you all. 

His hand is in all the things. All of the time. It isn’t our job to figure out the why’s behind what He’s doing, but to trust in the faithfulness that He cannot, not be. 

One more little story before you guys get to chat about God’s faithfulness. Back on April 30th a friend shared a song with me. It was a song that I had never heard, but instantly fell in love with. It was a song that I started seeing others share on Facebook after I heard it. 

The song is called Flowers by Samantha Ebert. The last verse and chorus of the song made me cry when I heard it. And as I listened to the song on repeat last Friday, made me cry again. It was not a coincidence that I heard the song only a week and a few days before last Friday. God needed that song fresh on my heart as a beautiful reminder of WHO He is, and will always be and has always been. I’ll leave you with the lyrics of the last part of the song…and encourage you as a group to listen to the entire thing as you meditate on the beautiful faithfulness of the God who loves you so very much.

When I'm on the mountain and looking down below

I'll see a valley of flowers that needed time to grow

And I'll thank you for the rain

The hurt and days of pain

And I'll bring it up in a grateful prayer

Thank you, Jesus, for keeping me there

You know just what I need and you've planted seeds

'Cause you're a good God with a real good plan

And you hold my world in a watering can

So I can have peace 'cause flowers grow in the valley

Here are links to the songs I mentioned in the message:

Take You at Your Word: https://youtu.be/HDrPjtkowpI?si=hFleDmAyZZwg8Uf0

Flowers: https://youtu.be/4AQM7-qm3lo?si=Auca580s4CNsVeAp