off into the sunrise

 Early on Monday morning the older 5 kids rode off into the sunrise. They headed to camp. Camp that is 2 hours away from home. They headed to camp all by themselves and, for the week, I'm a mom of 2 kids at home.

Before the older two were able to drive I could almost feel sick just thinking about letting them drive off. Friends kids had their licenses before mine and I just couldn't believe how they were able to let their kids drive off. Then A got her license and the first night she drove her and her sisters to work...and a weird thing happened. I didn't feel like puking at all. I just felt weird. Weird in the sense that I couldn't even believe I had a child old enough TO drive herself to work! I also felt weird because I didn't feel sick. I almost kept wondering if something was wrong with me. 

As days went on and she drove herself more I didn't feel sick, either. I realized that maybe the Lord was just protecting me from it. The Lord was giving me the peace that passes all understanding AND I was trusting in it and not letting worry even grab a foothold over me. A few months later, B got HER license. The exact same feelings filled me then, too. Feelings of peace and just proud of my girl.

Before we had A, we had a miscarriage. I learned through that miscarriage that our children are not OURS at all. Our children are a blessing the Lord gives us. A blessing that we are given to take care of until they are called home. The miscarriage taught me that I am not in control of my children's lives in the womb or out. That He has a perfect plan for each of them and it is my job (along with my husband's) to raise them in the knowledge of the Lord. It is our job to trust that God will (and does) take care of our kids...just like he does us. 

Is it easy? OHHHH! Absolutely not! But is it worth it? OHHHH! Absolutely, a big huge, YES!
Living life with the true knowledge that my kids don't belong to me and they're just on loan has made life a bit more simple, though. I can simply trust in the Lord to take care of them like the Father he is. 

Ephesians 4:6-One God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

On Monday, as I watched them wave from the windows and throw out the peace sign (that's what I always do when I "wave goodbye") a sense of crazy love overwhelmed my heart. It was so insane that I was watching my kids drive off (the furtherest they'd ever driven alone) and I wasn't the least bit nervous. I was filled with excitement that they were doing it all alone and excitement for their week at camp. The older 3 are serving as volunteers on dish crew and the younger 2 are campers. (The older 3 will make the drive again next Monday for their week at camp)

The goal of parenting isn't to baby our kids forever and have them never leave our house, right? Our goal is to teach them to spread their wings and fly. This week I watched their wings fly in a really big way. I'm also super excited that wings to fly with, also mean flying on back home. For now, they're flying home more and more, but I know that the time is coming that they'll fly off and be gone for longer bits of time. I pray my heart will feel the same peace it did this week, knowing God has them. I pray that our wing prepping will prep them to fly into a pretty crazy world with confidence and love for Jesus. That their wings will allow them to fly into places and share that love of Jesus with all they encounter. 

I want to have my children walking in truth. The truth of God and all He has for them and their lives. The truth that I pray they have seen their parents walk in. 

3 John 1:4-I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in truth.